A Story That Didn’t Make the Book

My new book is coming out soon! 🎉

 It’s a collection of 40 vignettes from my life — from childhood to adulthood. Originally, I wrote over 60 stories, but I chose only 40 because that number holds a special place in my heart. (You’ll have to read the book to learn why.) 

What follows is one of the stories that didn’t make it into the final version.

When I was in 5th grade, team captains were choosing players for a softball game. I was the last one left, and the captain said, “We’ll just play short.” 

No one wanted me on their team because I was terrible at sports. It happened again and again. By junior high, the sting was sharper. I joined the basketball team, and while I was a decent shooter, I always double-dribbled. Within minutes of a game, I was benched.

But it didn’t stop there. I took piano lessons for nine years, won a few recitals, but today I can’t play a single song. I played viola for six years, even toured with a quartet, but eventually lost first chair in high school orchestra — to a younger student. These experiences left me wrestling with big questions: Why me? Why is life treating me so unfairly?

Then I got accepted to Vanderbilt University. In my very first class, Multiculturalism, I had a moment that would change my life.

 The professor had us sit in a circle and share why we were taking the course. When it was my turn, I said: “Because all my life, people have said to me, ‘You can’t.’ And those simple words have made me feel inferior.”

After everyone spoke, the professor addressed each of us. When he got to me, his words struck deep: “I cannot apologize for, or take away, what people have said to you. I cannot explain why you feel inferior, if that is what you CHOOSE to be. What I can tell you is that you need to be self-directed and self-motivated.”

Those words changed my life. I realized I had been my own border bully — holding myself back, choosing to internalize others’ opinions. From that moment on, I determined that I would never allow anyone to take advantage of me, never allow anyone to take me for granted, and never fear having a voice or the consequences of using it. That shift set me on a trajectory of accomplishment I never thought possible.

✍️ This story didn’t make it into the book, but the lessons it gave me shaped the person I became.