How Well Do You Listen?

Listening is an essential communication skill, but few leaders do it, and even fewer do it well.  Instead, they talk! 

Recently, I had to say to someone who cut me off, “sorry, it is my turn to talk as I have patiently listened to you”. It is common decency to wait your turn before interrupting someone else who is talking.  But all too often, we don’t wait; we jump right in, cutting the person off, and often forcing them to forget their line of thought. Well, that is not quality, and that is not leadership!

Leaders know that by actively listening, they get a better understanding of what the person is trying to convey.  They recognize that having a full understanding before acting is critical to the final outcome of a situation.  They appreciate the value of another person’s ideas and thoughts, and are not intimidated by them.

We are all guilty of not waiting our turn.  We have all been tempted to comment during someone else’s explanation or story.  We are often challenged by jumping the gun to finish another’s sentence. But, the guilt, temptation, and challenge to politely add our own thoughts to the dialogue somehow frequently overwhelm us, and we therefore we think we must express what we are thinking ‘right now’.

So how good are you at listening? Here are a few questions to self-assess. (Adapted an anonymous source)

Score yourself on a scale of 1 to 5. (1 being a low rating, a quality you struggle with, and 5 being a high rating-a quality you hold).

1.     I always try to give every person I talk with as much time to talk as I take.                           1                5

2.     I really enjoy hearing what other people have to say.                                                                    1                5

3.     I never find it hard to wait until someone else finishes talking before I have my say.          1                5

4.     I assume every person has something worthwhile to say and listen intently to friends, acquaintances, and strangers alike.                                                                                                                                                                   1                5

5.     I put away what I am doing while someone is talking.                                                                1                5

 Legend:

25-20-You have your ears on

19-14-You are a pretty good listener 

13-9 -You are missing a LOT

Below 9-You have a lot of work to do!

 Write down 1-3 techniques you can use to improve your listening skills

Now, go forth, and sin no more!